Pub jokes and gags will always go down well - if told well. If you want those on the receiving end of the funny prank or gag to be doubled over with laughter then you have to know your audience so as to speak. When out for the evening in the pub you must weigh up your company first to make sure you do not offend any one with your humour. The reason for this is, because not everyone has the same sense of humour.
Pub Joke 1
A man sitting in the pub corner downing a pint of lager - hears a bowl of peanuts on the bar saying "Oooh, you really are amazing. Oooh, you are fabulous." Then from the corner of the room the fruit machine shouts over "Rubbish, look at the state of the outfit. And as for the socks they don't go with his shoes." Embarrassed and blushing the barman from behind the counter apologised. "I'm sorry," he said, "The nuts are normally complimentary but - the fruit machine is out of order."
Pub Joke 2
A little boy was lost in the local supermarket. He went up to the security guard and said "I've lost my old man." The security guard asked him "What's he like?" and the little boy replied "Beer, and women with big boobs."
Just because you are out in a pub having a drink with friends, it does not mean that your jokes or gags have to turn the air blue. Clean jokes go down just as well as dirty humorous gags.
You can find more pub jokes and gags online. If you are hosting a party then consider booking a stand up comedienne to entertain your guests. Comediennes are professional and are usually guaranteed laughs at the venue they are performing at.
3 Pub Joke
A man walked into a pub with his dog. The landlord shouted, "Sorry Sir, no dogs allowed." Trying to pull a fast one over the landlord - the man said "I'm blind, it’s my Guide Dog". Doubting the dog owners words - the landlord said, "But it’s a bloody Yorkshire terrier." The dog owner putting on a show looked amazed and blurted out “What you are joking? They told me it was a very small Labrador!"
When telling jokes in company make sure there are no children around for fear your pub joke or gag is unsuitable for the child to hear. Humour for children is performed by circus clowns and not by the dope in the pub telling offensive rude jokes |
